Today feels like a good day for writing. A lot of changes have happened in my life over the last couple of months. Some of them I asked for and some I didn't even see coming. I didn't know a person could change so much, so quickly, but I have and I am happy with who I am becoming.
The biggest thing that has changed is that I am acting my age for the first time in pretty much my whole life. I have never been one to be overly social or do things without thoroughly thinking through the consequences beforehand. I definitely wouldn't go to parties or hang out with friends if I didn't know everyone there. And I definitely wouldn't arrive alone. I would have needed a buddy. More recently, I have become much more social. I have gone to concerts with good friends, gone to a baseball game, gone swimming, gone to parties, and met new people. I'm sure if you're reading this, you think this is something most people my age do, and you would be right. It's just something I have never really been willing to do. The entire time I was at Disney, all I wanted was human interaction. Now, I actually feel important. I am meeting people who actually want to be around me and spend time with me and who, occasionally, think I'm funny. I am spending time with people who make me feel good for being exactly who I am. More than anything, I am realizing these people were always here for me, I just didn't know how to let them in.
I have been listening to a lot of country music since I moved back to Texas. A lot of country music. I think it makes me feel like I grew up in a small town, even though I definitely grew up in a very suburban town. I don't care. I like it. I went to the Darius Rucker concert last month with my friend, Meredith. A few weeks later I went to the Tim McGraw concert with my friend, Aaron. These are two people I am so grateful to have in my life. We occasionally go through lengths of time where we don't keep in contact as much as we should, but we always pick right back up where we left off. They are two of the most genuine friends I have ever had and I am lucky I have had them in my lives for this long already. I know that they both would be there if I ever needed anything and they have definitely been so helpful recently with everything that has changed. I know I will stay friends with them for a very long time and I am so grateful for both of them.
I started dancing again. After the first two days, I was just about ready to die. Guess what, though? I pushed through it! I chose to take a contemporary jazz class with the director of the dance company I was a part of last year. The first week was so difficult. By the second week, I had my learning ability back. At the end of that week, most of my technique had returned as well. By the third week, I was going strong and I realized I am a better dancer now than I was before my year long break. I think being friends with my Disney characters and being able to do whatever I felt like with nobody seeing my face helped me to grow. I also think my new found social skills have played into it as well. I'm not worried about looking silly anymore.You have to push yourself in order to improve and 9 times out of 10, if you're just confident about what you're doing, you won't look silly.
I knew I was going to run into this problem eventually, but wasn't too worried about it at the time. I have a lot of Disney clothes. Pretty much my entire wardrobe when I returned home was Disney attire. That's not really a big deal, unless you hang out with the same people a lot. I have had to slowly rebuild my wardrobe with "normal" clothes as well. Disney t-shirts don't exactly pass off as formal attire in McKinney, Texas.
Last thing. I freaking love my cat, Bagheera. I mentioned before that I was determined to keep him. Well, determination pays off. He fell asleep on the floor while I was writing this post and has since climbed in my lap and fallen back asleep. Nobody has ever quite understood why I wanted an animal so badly, but I think I just wanted someone to love me. As silly as that sounds. Animals don't care what you wear, what you look like, or who you hang out with. They won't tell you what to do or how to act. All Bagheera cares about is that I feed him, watch animated movies, and am home at night when he is ready for bed. (That's all true. He watches Disney movies with me. It's weird.)
I guess the moral of the story here is that I am really happy. I am happier than I have been in a long time. Changes are hard sometimes, but we need them. Change challenges us and challenges make us stronger. As always, I wish nothing but happy thoughts to the world!
